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Businesses running out of business. Businesses to help the helpless businesses also running out of business. A dangerous triplicity of irony, tragedy, and and shock has converted the energy of our world into something different. Something that Daylight Savings could not push forward. Something that would not fall back. *** “I don’t know when business will be back up again,” I heard the voice of the manager of the Guitar Center over the phone. It sounded hopeful. A little tired. “Gisele. You will be the first person I call when things return to normal again.” With a quick thank you, I hung up the phone. The hope from the phone carried. Hey, I thought to myself. Maybe things will go back to normal again. Maybe they will never be the same. I got an email from the Guitar Center stating that the doors had reopened. I was hoping that my shot at working there was still guaranteed. How do I keep up with the life I was living before the crisis happened? But see, that is the thing about COVID-19. I would dare to say that due to these events, the World has consequently been compressed in a virtual, revolutionary way. It comes with its ups and downs, right? The confusion involved with the distribution of the stimulus checks, along with the online unemployment application server rukus created a virtual mob of frustrated people. It seems like the whole COVID-19 situation was a test of the survival of the fittest—both biologically and economically. Businesses have been forced to adapt and accommodate or face the same fate as other business that went under due to resistance to change in the market and in the taste of consumers. I was impacted within both aspects, but it was not all bad. Not at all. Unable to make my medical appointments in person, all of my appointments turned into half hour long phone calls. I did not have to worry about paying for an appointment before being seen. Although I was not able to start working at the Guitar Center, I tried my best to spend the money I had saved wisely. Fortunately, the government did not stop social security checks during the outbreak. I passed my Music Theory class and my English Composition II class with flying colors. I did not mind the switch of all classes to online. I’ll be taking a break this summer and hope to work on my music and my website. And spend time with my boyfriend. Back up. Boyfriend!?  Be honest—if this were a movie, would you watch it?! My boyfriend is not really a gangster with a grill and a chain—he’s a biology nerd, history buff, and hopeless romantic. Somehow, our hearts conjoined right before the start of the epidemic. Living together in the same space 24/7, I was worried that it was going to be a living hell.
In actuality, it was—and still is--a living paradise. We both have plans to finish our degrees, and we bond more and more each day. For me, the best moments of our friendship is when we would pull up an instrumental track on YouTube and start free-styling or rapping while it played in the background. We even started making songs together! My creative goal for this summer is to work on a musical project, and I hope he wants to collaborate with me! I thought I wanted to make money with music, but my sister, a freelancer and guest copywriter with her own kickass language blog, has been my virtual mentor, coach, and friend. While providing for her family through her own entrepreneurship, Errol does not waste a minute of the day and is always a step ahead. I was not too worried about my sister and her family when the epidemic hit. Why? Because my big sister knows how to find the light at the end of any tunnel. Because my sister was already active on social media and up to speed with technology, she has still been able to preserve in her field and continues to inspire me. She inspired me to submit a blog post to NAMI, the National Alliance of Mental Illness. In May, they proposed to publish it in their newsletter. Maybe I have found my calling. Despite this, I still feel inner resistance. Talking about mental health is never really a light topic. The world attitude towards people suffering with a mental illness is slowly changing. I believe that everyone has a story of pain to tell during this time, as well as a story of joy. I am happy that I still have some kind of income. I am loved by my family and friends. I keep myself intellectually engaged. With social distancing, masks, and scares, the world truly does feel like a different place. I may not ever work at the Guitar Center. I may not ever resume the projects and commitments I had pre-COVID-19, but maybe that is okay. I see it like the rainbow after the flood. Many things were washed away—both good and bad, both pleasant things and stressful things. I hope y’all took the time to reflect on what matters to y’all in this world. For me, it is my love for my family. So What’s Next? One last important thing! I have been able to stock on all my medications, and I have been keeping up with taking them as well! My next psychiatrist appointment is in June—oh boy! June is a hard month for me. It is where I start losing sleep and eventually become manic. I have been through this so many times that I have finally caught on to the pattern, notified my doctor, and am taking steps to prevent it this time around. I will definitely keep y’all posted! Much love, gdp
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 Dear Reader,
It has been one heck of a year so far! Accomplishments (In No Particular Order):
Things to Come:
Goals: With everything going on in my life, sometimes it can be hard for me to pay attention to my sleep hygiene (and my other hygiene for that matter!). The good is that, because I am doing so many music-related things in one day, it is easy for me to get tired of singing all the time and to just give myself a break. Staying honest with my mom about my habits has helped me realized when I need to tone things down and not do so much. I just can't believe that I came from being bored and unemployed to being a busy, aspiring singer-songwriter with ALWAYS something to do. So here are my goals (so far):
I can't wait to keep y'all posted on how the rest of this month goes and how the other one will begin! Take care and until next time! |
Gisele PhaloWriting about myself, mental health, & music Archives
May 2020
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